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Who is doing the work around here?
|The population of the United States was 180 million at the time of writing, but there are 64 million over 60 years of age, leaving 116 million to do the work.
People under 21 total 59 million which leaves 57 million people to do the work.
Because of the 31 million government employees, there are only 26 million left to do the work.
Six million in the armed forces leave twenty million workers.
Deduct 17 million State, county, and city employees, and we are left with three million to do the work.
There are 2,500,000 people in hospitals, asylums, and treatment facilities leaving half a million workers.
However, 450,000 of these are bums or others who will not work, leaving 50,000 to do the work.
Now, it may interest you to know that there are 49,998 people in jail so that leaves just 2 people to do all the work, and that is you and me, and I'm getting tired of doing everything myself!
People under 21 total 59 million which leaves 57 million people to do the work.
Because of the 31 million government employees, there are only 26 million left to do the work.
Six million in the armed forces leave twenty million workers.
Deduct 17 million State, county, and city employees, and we are left with three million to do the work.
There are 2,500,000 people in hospitals, asylums, and treatment facilities leaving half a million workers.
However, 450,000 of these are bums or others who will not work, leaving 50,000 to do the work.
Now, it may interest you to know that there are 49,998 people in jail so that leaves just 2 people to do all the work, and that is you and me, and I'm getting tired of doing everything myself!
A succession of generations
The village blacksmith finally found an apprentice willing to work hard at low pay for long hours. The blacksmith immediately began his instructions to the lad, "When I take the shoe out of the fire, I'll lay it on the anvil; and when I nod my head, you hit it with this hammer." The apprentice did just as he told. Now he's the village blacksmith.
Moving Fee
Two brawny men came to my house to install some new floor covering
in the kitchen. Once they had moved the stove and refrigerator out of the
way, it was not long before the job was done. As they were getting ready to
leave, I asked them to put the heavy appliances back in place. The two men
demanded $45 for this service, stating it was not in their contract.
I really had no choice but to pay them. As soon as they left,
however, the doorbell rang. It was the two men. They asked me to move my
car, which was blocking their van.
I told them my fee: $45.
in the kitchen. Once they had moved the stove and refrigerator out of the
way, it was not long before the job was done. As they were getting ready to
leave, I asked them to put the heavy appliances back in place. The two men
demanded $45 for this service, stating it was not in their contract.
I really had no choice but to pay them. As soon as they left,
however, the doorbell rang. It was the two men. They asked me to move my
car, which was blocking their van.
I told them my fee: $45.
Riddle - One
How long is your one?
I have one.
You have one.
Your mother uses your father's one
and your auntie uses your uncle's one.
A married lady would acquire one.
But a divorced lady would lose her one.
A Pope does not use his one.
Lee Kuan Yew has a short-short one.
Mao Ze Dong had a hairy one.
Lord Krishna had a long-long one.
Arnold Schwarzenneger has a longer one.
Michael J. Fox has a shorter one.
Madonna does not have one.
The Chinese usually have short ones.
While the Indian usually have long ones.
Do you have one?
How long is your one?
Which one is your preferred one?
See below for answer)
Answer : Your Surname,( What were you
thinking of,
huh???)
I have one.
You have one.
Your mother uses your father's one
and your auntie uses your uncle's one.
A married lady would acquire one.
But a divorced lady would lose her one.
A Pope does not use his one.
Lee Kuan Yew has a short-short one.
Mao Ze Dong had a hairy one.
Lord Krishna had a long-long one.
Arnold Schwarzenneger has a longer one.
Michael J. Fox has a shorter one.
Madonna does not have one.
The Chinese usually have short ones.
While the Indian usually have long ones.
Do you have one?
How long is your one?
Which one is your preferred one?
See below for answer)
Answer : Your Surname,( What were you
thinking of,
huh???)
The engineer's terms
|Top 25 Engineer's Terms and Expressions (What they say versus what they mean)
A number of different approaches are being tried. (We are still guessing at this point.)
Close project coordination. (We sat down and had coffee together.)
An extensive report is being prepared on a fresh approach. (We just hired three punk kids out of school.)
Major technological breakthrough! (It works OK; but looks very hi-tech!)
Customer satisfaction is believed assured. (We are so far behind schedule, that the customer will take anything.)
Preliminary operational tests were inconclusive. (The darn thing blew up when we threw the switch.)
Test results were extremely gratifying! (Unbelievable, it actually worked!)
The entire concept will have to be abandoned. (The only guy who understood the thing quit.)
It is in process. (It is so wrapped in red tape that the situation is completely hopeless.)
We will look into it. (Forget it! We have enough problems already.)
Please note and initial. (Let's spread the responsibility for this.)
Give us the benefit of your thinking. (We'll listen to what you have to say as long as it doesn't interfere with what we have already done or with what we are going to do.)
Give us your interpretation. (We can't wait to hear your bull.)
See me or let's discuss. (Come to my office, I've messed up again.)
All new. (Parts are not interchangeable with previous design.)
Rugged. (Don't plan to lift it without major equipment.)
Robust! (Rugged, but more so)
Light weight. (Slightly lighter than rugged)
Years of development. (One finally worked)
Energy saving. (Achieved when the power switch is off.)
No maintenance. (Impossible to fix)
Low maintenance. (Nearly impossible to fix)
Fax me the data. (I'm too lazy to write it down.)
We are following the standard! (That's the way we have always done it!)
I didn't get your e-mail. (I haven't checked my e-mail for days.)
A number of different approaches are being tried. (We are still guessing at this point.)
Close project coordination. (We sat down and had coffee together.)
An extensive report is being prepared on a fresh approach. (We just hired three punk kids out of school.)
Major technological breakthrough! (It works OK; but looks very hi-tech!)
Customer satisfaction is believed assured. (We are so far behind schedule, that the customer will take anything.)
Preliminary operational tests were inconclusive. (The darn thing blew up when we threw the switch.)
Test results were extremely gratifying! (Unbelievable, it actually worked!)
The entire concept will have to be abandoned. (The only guy who understood the thing quit.)
It is in process. (It is so wrapped in red tape that the situation is completely hopeless.)
We will look into it. (Forget it! We have enough problems already.)
Please note and initial. (Let's spread the responsibility for this.)
Give us the benefit of your thinking. (We'll listen to what you have to say as long as it doesn't interfere with what we have already done or with what we are going to do.)
Give us your interpretation. (We can't wait to hear your bull.)
See me or let's discuss. (Come to my office, I've messed up again.)
All new. (Parts are not interchangeable with previous design.)
Rugged. (Don't plan to lift it without major equipment.)
Robust! (Rugged, but more so)
Light weight. (Slightly lighter than rugged)
Years of development. (One finally worked)
Energy saving. (Achieved when the power switch is off.)
No maintenance. (Impossible to fix)
Low maintenance. (Nearly impossible to fix)
Fax me the data. (I'm too lazy to write it down.)
We are following the standard! (That's the way we have always done it!)
I didn't get your e-mail. (I haven't checked my e-mail for days.)
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