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Question and answer
|An economist is a trained professional paid to guess wrong about the economy. An econometrician is a trained professional paid to use computers to guess wrong about the economy.
Talk is cheap. Supply exceeds Demand.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Bentley's second Law of Economics: The only thing more dangerous than an economist is an amateur economist!
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Berta's Fundamental Law of Economic Rents.. "The only thing more dangerous than an amateur economist is a professional economist."
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Definition: Policy Analyst is someone unethical enough to be a lawyer, impractical enough to be a theologian, and pedantic enough to be an economist.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Three econometricians went out hunting, and came across a large deer. The first econometrician fired, but missed, by a meter to the left. The second econometrician fired, but also missed, by a meter to the right. The third econometrician didn't fire, but shouted in triumph, "We got it! We got it!"
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Q: How has French revolution affected world economic growth?
A: Too early to say.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Q: What do economists and computers have in common?
A: You need to punch information into both of them.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Q: Why does Treasury only have 10 minutes for morning tea?
A: If they had any longer, they would need to re-train all the economists.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Q: Did you hear of the economist who dove into his swimming pool and broke his neck?
A: He forgot to seasonally adjust his pool.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
NATURAL RATE OF UNEMPLOYMENT: Newlan's Truism: An "acceptable" level of unemployment means that the government economist to whom it is acceptable still has a job.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Q: Why did the market economist cross the road?
A: To reach the consensus forecast.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Q: What does an economist use when calculating constant-dollar estimates?
A: Deflator mouse
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Q: How many Chicago School economists does it take to change a light bulb?
A: None. If the light bulb needed changing the market would have already done it.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Q: How many mainstream economists does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Two. One to assume the existence of ladder and one to change the bulb.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Q: How many neo-classical economists does it take to change a light bulb?
A: It depends on the wage rate.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Q: How many conservative economists does it take to change a light bulb?
A: None. The darkness will cause the light bulb to change by itself.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Q: How many B-school doctoral students does it take to change a light bulb?
A: I'm writing my dissertation on that topic; I should have an answer for you in about five years.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Q: How many investors does it take to change a light bulb?
A: None - the market has already discounted the change.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Q: How many Keynesian economists does it takes to change a light bulb?
A: All. Because then you will generate employment, more consumption, dislocating the aggregate demand to the right.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Q: How many marxists does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
A: None - the bulb contains within it the seeds of its own revolution.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
When drawing up the guest list for a dinner party, inviting more than 25% economists ruins the conversation.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Economics is the painful elaboration of the obvious.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Q: How many economists does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Seven plus or minus ten.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Q: How many economists does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Irrelevant - the light bulb's preferences are to be taken as given.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Q: What's the difference between an economist and a befuddled old man with Alzheimer's?
A: The economist is the one with the calculator.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Q: What's the difference between economists and businessmen?
A: The first don't keep their feet on the ground; the latest use to keep their four feet in the ground
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Given 1000 economists, there will be 10 theoretical economists with different theories on how to change the light bulb and 990 empirical economists laboring to determine which theory is the *correct* one, and everyone will still be in the dark.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Q: Why did God create economists?
A: In order to make weather forecasters look good.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Q: What does an economist do?
A: A lot in the short run, which amounts to nothing in the long run.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Two economists meet on the street.
One inquires, "How's your wife?"
The other responds, "Relative to what?"
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
To an economist, real life is a special case.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Q: How many economists does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: Eight. One to screw it in and seven to hold everything else constant.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Economists have forecasted nine out of the last five recessions.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
When an economist says the evidence is "mixed," he or she means that theory says one thing and data says the opposite.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Econometrics is the art of drawing a crooked line from an unproved assumption to a foregone conclusion."
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Q: Why has astrology been invented?
A: So that economy could be an accurate science.
Talk is cheap. Supply exceeds Demand.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Bentley's second Law of Economics: The only thing more dangerous than an economist is an amateur economist!
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Berta's Fundamental Law of Economic Rents.. "The only thing more dangerous than an amateur economist is a professional economist."
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Definition: Policy Analyst is someone unethical enough to be a lawyer, impractical enough to be a theologian, and pedantic enough to be an economist.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Three econometricians went out hunting, and came across a large deer. The first econometrician fired, but missed, by a meter to the left. The second econometrician fired, but also missed, by a meter to the right. The third econometrician didn't fire, but shouted in triumph, "We got it! We got it!"
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Q: How has French revolution affected world economic growth?
A: Too early to say.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Q: What do economists and computers have in common?
A: You need to punch information into both of them.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Q: Why does Treasury only have 10 minutes for morning tea?
A: If they had any longer, they would need to re-train all the economists.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Q: Did you hear of the economist who dove into his swimming pool and broke his neck?
A: He forgot to seasonally adjust his pool.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
NATURAL RATE OF UNEMPLOYMENT: Newlan's Truism: An "acceptable" level of unemployment means that the government economist to whom it is acceptable still has a job.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Q: Why did the market economist cross the road?
A: To reach the consensus forecast.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Q: What does an economist use when calculating constant-dollar estimates?
A: Deflator mouse
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Q: How many Chicago School economists does it take to change a light bulb?
A: None. If the light bulb needed changing the market would have already done it.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Q: How many mainstream economists does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Two. One to assume the existence of ladder and one to change the bulb.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Q: How many neo-classical economists does it take to change a light bulb?
A: It depends on the wage rate.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Q: How many conservative economists does it take to change a light bulb?
A: None. The darkness will cause the light bulb to change by itself.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Q: How many B-school doctoral students does it take to change a light bulb?
A: I'm writing my dissertation on that topic; I should have an answer for you in about five years.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Q: How many investors does it take to change a light bulb?
A: None - the market has already discounted the change.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Q: How many Keynesian economists does it takes to change a light bulb?
A: All. Because then you will generate employment, more consumption, dislocating the aggregate demand to the right.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Q: How many marxists does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
A: None - the bulb contains within it the seeds of its own revolution.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
When drawing up the guest list for a dinner party, inviting more than 25% economists ruins the conversation.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Economics is the painful elaboration of the obvious.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Q: How many economists does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Seven plus or minus ten.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Q: How many economists does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Irrelevant - the light bulb's preferences are to be taken as given.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Q: What's the difference between an economist and a befuddled old man with Alzheimer's?
A: The economist is the one with the calculator.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Q: What's the difference between economists and businessmen?
A: The first don't keep their feet on the ground; the latest use to keep their four feet in the ground
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Given 1000 economists, there will be 10 theoretical economists with different theories on how to change the light bulb and 990 empirical economists laboring to determine which theory is the *correct* one, and everyone will still be in the dark.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Q: Why did God create economists?
A: In order to make weather forecasters look good.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Q: What does an economist do?
A: A lot in the short run, which amounts to nothing in the long run.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Two economists meet on the street.
One inquires, "How's your wife?"
The other responds, "Relative to what?"
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
To an economist, real life is a special case.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Q: How many economists does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: Eight. One to screw it in and seven to hold everything else constant.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Economists have forecasted nine out of the last five recessions.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
When an economist says the evidence is "mixed," he or she means that theory says one thing and data says the opposite.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Econometrics is the art of drawing a crooked line from an unproved assumption to a foregone conclusion."
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Q: Why has astrology been invented?
A: So that economy could be an accurate science.
Actual Newspaper Ads
The following ads acutally appeared in newspapers:
ILLITERATE ? Write today for free help.
AUTO REPAIR SERVICE. Free pick up and delivery. Try us once, you will never go anywhere again.
DOG FOR SALE Eats anything and is fond of children
STOCK UP AND SAVE. Limit: one.
SEMI ANNUAL AFTER XMAS SALE
DINNER SPECIAL. Turkey $3.25; Chicken or Beef $2.25; Children $2.00
FOR SALE: Antique desk suitable for lady with thick legs and large drawers.
NOW IS YOUR CHANCE to have your ears pierced and get an extra pair to take home, too.
GREAT DAMES for sale.
TIRED OF CLEANING YOURSELF? Let me do it
FOR RENT: 6 room hated apartment
WANTED: Man to take care of cow that does not smoke or drink
OUR BIKINIS ARE EXCITING. They are simply the tops.
AND NOW, the superstore unequaled in size, unmatched in variety, unrivaled inconvenience.
WE WILL OIL your sewing machine and adjust tension in your home for $1
ILLITERATE ? Write today for free help.
AUTO REPAIR SERVICE. Free pick up and delivery. Try us once, you will never go anywhere again.
DOG FOR SALE Eats anything and is fond of children
STOCK UP AND SAVE. Limit: one.
SEMI ANNUAL AFTER XMAS SALE
DINNER SPECIAL. Turkey $3.25; Chicken or Beef $2.25; Children $2.00
FOR SALE: Antique desk suitable for lady with thick legs and large drawers.
NOW IS YOUR CHANCE to have your ears pierced and get an extra pair to take home, too.
GREAT DAMES for sale.
TIRED OF CLEANING YOURSELF? Let me do it
FOR RENT: 6 room hated apartment
WANTED: Man to take care of cow that does not smoke or drink
OUR BIKINIS ARE EXCITING. They are simply the tops.
AND NOW, the superstore unequaled in size, unmatched in variety, unrivaled inconvenience.
WE WILL OIL your sewing machine and adjust tension in your home for $1
The Big Shake-up!
A company, feeling it was time for a shake-up, hires a new CEO.
This new boss is determined to rid the company of all slackers.
On a tour of the facilities, the CEO notices a guy leaning on a wall.
The room is full of workers and he thinks this is his chance to show everyone he means business!
The CEO, walks up the guy and asks - "and how much money do you make a week?"
Undaunted, the young fellow looks at him and replies, "I make $200.00 a week. Why?"
The CEO then hands the guy $200 in cash and screams - "here's a week's pay, now GET OUT and don't come back!"
Feeling pretty good about his first firing, the CEO looks around the room and asks - "does anyone want to tell me what that slacker did here?"
With a sheepish grin, one of the other workers mutters -
"Pizza delivery guy".
This new boss is determined to rid the company of all slackers.
On a tour of the facilities, the CEO notices a guy leaning on a wall.
The room is full of workers and he thinks this is his chance to show everyone he means business!
The CEO, walks up the guy and asks - "and how much money do you make a week?"
Undaunted, the young fellow looks at him and replies, "I make $200.00 a week. Why?"
The CEO then hands the guy $200 in cash and screams - "here's a week's pay, now GET OUT and don't come back!"
Feeling pretty good about his first firing, the CEO looks around the room and asks - "does anyone want to tell me what that slacker did here?"
With a sheepish grin, one of the other workers mutters -
"Pizza delivery guy".
Executive Decision
A hardworking female executive dies and meets St. Peter at the pearly gates and he says, "You've shown an outstanding aptitude for making business decisions. Choose whether you will go to heaven or to hell."
"I don't know!" she flounders.
"Tell you what," St. Peter says, "You can have 24 hours in heaven and 24 hours in hell. Then you have to decide where to spend eternity."
"Okay then," she says. "I'll start with heaven since I'm here already."
She goes in the pearly gates and makes some acquaintances. They have a nice walk among beautiful gardens. They have a nice quiet lunch. They have a nice stroll along a pristine, white, sandy beach looking out on brilliant blue ocean. At the end of the day she is shown to a nice room, and has a quiet meal on the balcony, looking out over the setting sun and the ocean. She marvels at the scenic beauty of heaven.
The next morning, St. Peter takes her to the fiery gates of hell and hands her off to Satan.
Satan takes her to a power breakfast given in her honor. Then she is escorted to a tennis club where she is greeted by her old boss, some co-workers, and previous business acquaintances. She plays a few sets of tennis and catches up on the gossip. At lunchtime her old boss takes her to a gourmet restaurant and she has an excellent meal with vintage wine.
After lunch he takes her to an exclusive golf course and they play 18 holes of golf. She runs into other business acquaintances and catches up on news and gossip.
After golf, he drops her at a spa where she is pampered and spoiled by beauty and body treatments. When she is finished at the spa, an acquaintance takes her shopping at designer stores. She picks out a fabulous evening gown, and Satan himself takes her to a huge party with drinking, dancing, gourmet food, and famous people.
At the end of the evening, a stretch limo drops her off at a five-star hotel. As she soaks in the Jacuzzi tub, and sips the complimentary champagne, she ponders eternity.
The next morning, she meets St. Peter at the pearly gates.
"Well, have you made your decision?" He asks.
"I've decided on hell," she announces.
"So be it." St Peter waves goodbye and she reappears before the fiery gates of hell.
Once inside she is teamed up with her old boss again, only this time everyone is wearing rags. They are filthy, diseased, malnourished, and living in a barren desert. They have to scrounge for food, water, clothing, even shade.
"What happened!?!" She exclaimed.
"Well," said her boss, "Yesterday you were a recruit. Today you are staff."
I am looking for a job as a consultant...
Job Applicant: "I'm looking for a job as a consultant."Employer: "I'm sorry, we already have enough cosultants."Applicant: "That's ok, with my experience, I can be an advisor."Employer: "More than we can use already."Applicant: As he is getting desperate, "I'm not proud, I can dopaperwork, I'll be a clerk, If you have too many, I'll start as a janitor."Employer: "It just doesn't seem that we have any openings for a person with your qualifications."Applicant: As he stands up and angrily yells, "work for you I'd have to be a low life, belly crawling, double dealing jerk!"Employer: "Well, you didn't say you were an attorney, have a seat, we may have an opening."
Media Details
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