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Total Videos: 145
Total Jokes: 285
Total Quotes: 1
Total Cool Sites: 8
Total Comics: 0
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Pride, commitment, teamwork--words we use to get you to work for free.
Pride, commitment, teamwork--words we use to get you to work for free.
Funny Signs
1. IN A LAUNDROMAT: Automatic washing machines. Please remove
all your clothes when the light goes out.
2. IN A LONDON DEPARTMENT STORE: Bargain Basement Upstairs
3. IN AN OFFICE: Would the person who took the step ladder
yesterday kindly bring it back or further steps will be taken.
4. IN ANOTHER OFFICE: After the tea break, staff should empty
the teapot and stand upside down on the draining board.
5. ON A CHURCH DOOR: This is the gate of Heaven. Enter ye all by
this door. (This door is kept locked because of the draft.
Please use side entrance)
6. OUTSIDE A SECOND-HAND SHOP: We exchange anything - bicycles,
washing machines etc. Why not bring your wife along and get a
wonderful bargain.
7. QUICKSAND WARNING: Quicksand. Any person passing this point
will be drowned. By order of the District Council.
8. NOTICE IN A DRY CLEANER'S WINDOW: Anyone leaving their
garments here for more than 30 days will be disposed of.
9. IN A HEALTH FOOD SHOP WINDOW: Closed due to illness.
10. SPOTTED IN A SAFARI PARK: Elephants Please Stay In Your Car
11. SEEN DURING A CONFERENCE: For anyone who has children and
doesn't know it, there is a day care on the first floor.
12. NOTICE IN A FIELD: The farmer allows walkers to cross the
field for free, but the bull charges.
13. MESSAGE ON A LEAFLET: If you cannot read, this leaflet will
tell you how to get lessons.
14. ON A REPAIR SHOP DOOR: We can repair anything (Please knock
hard on the door - the bell doesn't work)
15. SPOTTED IN A TOILET IN A LONDON OFFICE BLOCK: Toilet out of
order. Please use floor below.
all your clothes when the light goes out.
2. IN A LONDON DEPARTMENT STORE: Bargain Basement Upstairs
3. IN AN OFFICE: Would the person who took the step ladder
yesterday kindly bring it back or further steps will be taken.
4. IN ANOTHER OFFICE: After the tea break, staff should empty
the teapot and stand upside down on the draining board.
5. ON A CHURCH DOOR: This is the gate of Heaven. Enter ye all by
this door. (This door is kept locked because of the draft.
Please use side entrance)
6. OUTSIDE A SECOND-HAND SHOP: We exchange anything - bicycles,
washing machines etc. Why not bring your wife along and get a
wonderful bargain.
7. QUICKSAND WARNING: Quicksand. Any person passing this point
will be drowned. By order of the District Council.
8. NOTICE IN A DRY CLEANER'S WINDOW: Anyone leaving their
garments here for more than 30 days will be disposed of.
9. IN A HEALTH FOOD SHOP WINDOW: Closed due to illness.
10. SPOTTED IN A SAFARI PARK: Elephants Please Stay In Your Car
11. SEEN DURING A CONFERENCE: For anyone who has children and
doesn't know it, there is a day care on the first floor.
12. NOTICE IN A FIELD: The farmer allows walkers to cross the
field for free, but the bull charges.
13. MESSAGE ON A LEAFLET: If you cannot read, this leaflet will
tell you how to get lessons.
14. ON A REPAIR SHOP DOOR: We can repair anything (Please knock
hard on the door - the bell doesn't work)
15. SPOTTED IN A TOILET IN A LONDON OFFICE BLOCK: Toilet out of
order. Please use floor below.
I am looking for a job as a consultant...
Job Applicant: "I'm looking for a job as a consultant."Employer: "I'm sorry, we already have enough cosultants."Applicant: "That's ok, with my experience, I can be an advisor."Employer: "More than we can use already."Applicant: As he is getting desperate, "I'm not proud, I can dopaperwork, I'll be a clerk, If you have too many, I'll start as a janitor."Employer: "It just doesn't seem that we have any openings for a person with your qualifications."Applicant: As he stands up and angrily yells, "work for you I'd have to be a low life, belly crawling, double dealing jerk!"Employer: "Well, you didn't say you were an attorney, have a seat, we may have an opening."
Security Man Dreams
A security man has a dream that the plane his boss is supposed to take the next day is going to crash. When he wakes up he calls his boss at home and tells him. Insanely enough, the boss listens to him and decides not to take the plane.
The next day, according to the young man"s words, the plane crashes. The relieved boss calls the young man to his office and gives him a reward -- and then fires him. Curious as to why he is fired, the man asks his boss. The boss replies, ?You were sleeping on the job.?
The next day, according to the young man"s words, the plane crashes. The relieved boss calls the young man to his office and gives him a reward -- and then fires him. Curious as to why he is fired, the man asks his boss. The boss replies, ?You were sleeping on the job.?
Did you pay taxes?
|A nervous taxpayer was unhappily conversing with the IRS Tax auditor who had come to review his records.
At one point the auditor exclaimed, "Mr. Carelton, we feel it is a great privilege to be allowed to live and work in the USA. As a citizen you have an obligation to pay taxes, and we expect you to eagerly pay them with a smile."
"Thank goodness," returned Mr. Carelton, with a giant grin on his face, "I thought you were going to want me to pay with cash."
At one point the auditor exclaimed, "Mr. Carelton, we feel it is a great privilege to be allowed to live and work in the USA. As a citizen you have an obligation to pay taxes, and we expect you to eagerly pay them with a smile."
"Thank goodness," returned Mr. Carelton, with a giant grin on his face, "I thought you were going to want me to pay with cash."
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