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A man was interviewing for a sales representative...
A man was interviewing for a sales representative. One candidate wouldhave been ideal for the position except that he had a disconcertingmannerism. He kept winking."Look here, I'd like to give you the job, you've got good referencesand experience. The trouble is this trick you've got of winking all thetime, it might put our customers off.""No worries." the candidate replied. "All I've got to do to get rid ofit is to take a couple of aspirins."So saying he began emptying his pockets. The employer was startled tosee dozens of condoms, multi coloured ones, ribbed ones, heavy dutyvarieties and every known brand of standard condom."Here we are." said the rep. He swallowed two aspirins and his winkingstopped at once."Thats all very well but we couldn't hire a man who was going to bewomanising all over his territory.""Oh I wouldn't dream of it, I'm happily married.""Then how do you account for all of these things?""Simple, Did you ever go into a chemist winking all the time and ask fora packet of aspirins?"
BOSSES & TECHNOLOGY
BOSSES & TECHNOLOGYBoss: "My laptop computer is locked up. Can you help?"Dilbert: "Remember you have to hold it upside down and shake it toreboot."Boss: "Oh, that's right."Wally: "I wonder if he'll ever realise we gave him an "Etch-A-Sketch."
Corporate America Recreation Preferences
The National Science Foundation announced the following study results on corporate America recreation preferences:
1. Sport of choice for maintenance level employees: bowling.
2. Sport of choice for front line workers: football.
3. Sport of choice for supervisors: baseball.
4. Sport of choice for middle management: tennis.
5. Sport of choice for corporate officers: golf.
CONCLUSION:
The higher you are in the corporate structure, the smaller your balls.
1. Sport of choice for maintenance level employees: bowling.
2. Sport of choice for front line workers: football.
3. Sport of choice for supervisors: baseball.
4. Sport of choice for middle management: tennis.
5. Sport of choice for corporate officers: golf.
CONCLUSION:
The higher you are in the corporate structure, the smaller your balls.
My best job was being a musician, but eventually I found I wasn't noteworthy.
My best job was being a musician, but eventually I found I wasn't noteworthy.
Drummer problems
|A musical director was having a lot of trouble with one drummer. He talked and talked and talked with the drummer, but his performance simply didn't improve.
Finally, before the whole orchestra, he said, "When a musician just can't handle his instrument and doesn't improve when given help, they take away the instrument, and give him two sticks, and make him a drummer."
A stage whisper was heard from the percussion section: "And if he can't handle even that, they take away one of his sticks and make him a conductor."
Finally, before the whole orchestra, he said, "When a musician just can't handle his instrument and doesn't improve when given help, they take away the instrument, and give him two sticks, and make him a drummer."
A stage whisper was heard from the percussion section: "And if he can't handle even that, they take away one of his sticks and make him a conductor."
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